What is this all about?

When I was in highschool, I found out I can funnel my pain into a driving force. The first pronounced example I remember dates back to a summer vacation - my girlfriend at the time left for a trip with a bunch of other kids. I was part jealous, part lonely, part insecure. It was nighttime but I couldn't fall asleep - felt almost a physical chunk in my throat. So I picked up the summer math homework - and somehow finished all of it that same night. Every problem solved felt like a blow back - back against the girl who "abandoned me", against my insecurities, against the world.

This mentality proved especially useful during my years at the Technion. The university is famous for it's "unfair" exams and workload. But "fair" is a meaningless word - these are the challenges you're expected to overcome, and if you have a problem: "here's the door". What good will it do if you prove to everyone that it's impossible, that you have no time to prepare for the exams, that the questions are too hard, that you didn't have a day off for months... What's the point of feeling like a victim? Don't give yourself excuses for failure. Don't be so merciful to yourself.

Shut up and work.

You can hate the professor who gave too much homework, rage against the university that demands 92% exam average, but grind your teeth and funnel this hatred - work even harder.

I know that the vast majority of people are built differently. Every teacher, manager and parent will tell you how important positive feedback is, how it drives success. I, on the other hand, am driven mostly by negative emotions. While most people need someone to tell them "Don't worry, it will be ok" before a big exam - I need someone to kick me in the face and scream "Idiot! You're going to fail miserably, you loser!". My instinct is to go "Oh yeah? I'll show you who I am".

I'll show them all...

This blog is a collection of various content: quotes, music, videos, images, stories, articles etc. Some are my own creation, some are bits and pieces that I heard/saw/read and caught my attention. Some are not in English - I keep the original language even when translation is possible. Some are self-explanatory, some are clear only within their context - or within my head...

There is only one rule.

They all make me feel like I should build my own destiny - and I'll break through every wall on my path.

It's not for most people - but if you happen to operate the same way as I do, I hope you'll enjoy my Brutal Motivators.

Michael.

Of the Hateful

Of the Hateful. (by Michael Shalyt)

Hate. Dark, slimy, oozing. Clings to your body and to your soul from the inside, then leaks out through the pores of your skin and the look in your eyes.

Hate - drives you onward.

There are many different things that motivate humans to strive. Perhaps the best, purest, most powerful of all is the Belief. Faith in the righteousness of the path: lighting the heart from within, giving the Believers that magical spark in their eyes - the one saying "we are working for a purpose greater than ourselves, we are changing the world".

It is the smooth, futuristic car, powered by clean, sustainable energy.

It is beautiful.

A radically different driving force is Hate. It matters not what is the reason you are overfilled by this evil mix of emotions, be it pain, jealousy, injustice or - my personal favorite - vengeance, the effect is the same.

It is the old, screaking, train locomotive, powered by pitch black coal, polluting the world with pitch black smoke, slowly suffocating the gentle engine operator.

It is not beautiful.

It works.

The Hateful. Can you see him?

He was left behind long ago by the graceful sprint of the Believer - on the sun flooded fields of new beginnings.

As he trudges through the swamp of life, mud and indifference hindering his every step, he just smirks in disgust and keeps walking. The sharp branches cutting his skin do not slow down his even steps - as he does not care for himself. After all, he did not expect the path to be any better.

At the base of the impenetrable wall of ice he catches up to the Believer, slumped in despair, repeating "How can the world be this way? Our cause is just!". The Hateful just smirks again and slowly starts climbing, one ledge at a time.

And when he tires, when he has no power left to take a single step, when he crumbles and falls - like every mortal, when the eyes slowly close - what then? As he falls, the Hateful does not see the pristine white structures of the Believer's bright future. He sees the laughing face of his nemesis - and the rising fury refills the coal box.

The Hateful still falls.

But forward.

The world is not fair

The world is not fair.

Bad people live a long happy life.
Good people randomly die of cancer.
Hungry old men beg for help, while fat politicians lie to their faces.
Insolent entitled brats become CEOs.
Gentle quiet geeks live in fear and isolation.

There is no greater plan for you.
The universe doesn't owe you anything.
Things won't just "turn out ok".

You are not destined for greatness.
You are not destined to make a difference.
You are not destined for a "happy ever after".

You know what?
Fuck destiny.

Tear it down - build your own.

Origin

I've been putting off the creation of this collection for many months. Ironic for a motivational blog - I know - but there was a reason beyond banal laziness and fear of large projects. I wasn't sure whether anyone will be interested, whether anyone feels the same as I do. Most people don't approve of my unforgiving attitude (especially psychologists...) - they don't understand how can pain, anger, hate or disgust lead to positive actions - to success.

But then I stumbled upon this article:

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/sep/24/terry-pratchett-angry-not-jolly-neil-gaiman

Turns out my all-time favorite writer, whose books helped me during some of the darker periods of my teenage life, is just like me:

"Terry looked at me. He said: "Do not underestimate this anger. This anger was the engine that powered Good Omens.” I thought of the driven way that Terry wrote, and of the way that he drove the rest of us with him, and I knew that he was right.
There is a fury to Terry Pratchett’s writing: it’s the fury that was the engine that powered Discworld. It’s also the anger at the headmaster who would decide that six-year-old Terry Pratchett would never be smart enough for the 11-plus; anger at pompous critics, and at those who think serious is the opposite of funny; anger at his early American publishers who could not bring his books out successfully.
....
And that anger, it seems to me, is about Terry’s underlying sense of what is fair and what is not."

I read it yesterday. Today I created this blog. The least I could do...